I recently began an online course through the University of Dubuque Theological Seminary. The course is called Prayer for Pastors and is taught by Dr. Gary Hansen. It is a five-week course based on his excellent book, Kneeling With Giants: Learning to Pray with History's Best Teachers (IVP). One of Dr. Hansen's many strengths is that he is a truly excellent teacher, and so very able to interpret and convey to contemporary listeners the thoughts and lessons provided by saints and teachers from many centuries past. His book also comes with a workbook, for use in group settings. This week we are praying the psalms, using John Calvin as a teacher. At the risk of appearing immodest, I wanted to share the reflections that I wrote down today as part of our assignment. I share them not because I think they are particularly insightful or illuminating in themselves, but rather because they testify, however awkwardly,
to the faithfulness of God in guiding, by His Holy Spirit, those who seek Him, and who seek the life for which He has made us. If you read my reflections below, I pray that they may move you, by God's grace, to an increasingly deeper exploration of, and intimacy with, God's living Word to us.============
Psalm 62 - "For God alone my souls waits in silence..."
V. 1 - "For God alone." This is the focus of the entire psalm. God's singular, unique authority and power. The strength, the point, the edge of this repeated affirmation is its explicit exclusiveness. "For God alone" clearly means that my soul waits for no other, that my soul has no expectations of any other god, or resource, or circumstance, or event, or person. This is affirmed in the second half of the verse, "from Him comes my salvation." The psalmist acknowledges the grace and the deliverance of Salvation, and proclaims God -- and only God -- as the Author of that salvation.
V. 2 - "He only is my rock and my salvation." Again, we have no strength or deliverance apart from God. The clear implication here is that, when we find ourselves weak, when we are beset by difficulty and trial, when circumstance deals us a heavy blow, when our lives are buffeted by the winds of betrayal, or insult, or hurt, or reproach, or abandonment, or illness, or grief -- in those moments, God IS our rock (i.e., we can confidently trust in Him and depend on Him), and God ALONE is our rock (i.e., there is no other to whom we can go, who can provide for us the strength and stability and security and deliverance that our souls so desperately hunger for).
In these two verses, God is named "Salvation," "Rock," "Salvation" and "Fortress." "Salvation" means that God will deliver me, rescue me, save me from trial and trouble. He will remove me from, take me out from, whatever turmoil and danger I find myself in, and put me in a safe place. There is movement here -- and human submission to that divine movement. I must allow myself to be rescued. I'm reminded of the Red Cross Lifesaving training I took in summer camp as a teenager. One lesson they taught was how to save someone who is so out-of-their-mind desperate as to literally climb atop their would-be rescuer just to get out the water -- thereby submerging and possibly drowning the rescuer. (The solution is to approach the victim underwater -- unseen -- and come up behind him, where you can get him in a cross-chest carry and keep yourself out of danger). But God rarely works this way. He does not force Himself upon us, but invites us to come to Him. I must be willing to be rescued, and allow God to save me.
Hence, "my soul waits." This is that surrender, this is that relinquishment of agenda, of control; "my soul waits for the Lord." "In silence" = despite the apparent absence of immediate action or reply on God's part. My soul does not trust in God's action, but in God, the person of the Almighty. It is an attitude of deep humility, and one that is easily dismissed and ridiculed by the world - esp. in the face of apparent divine inaction. Cf. the passers-by mocking Jesus on the Cross in Matthew 27:43, "He trusts in God -- let God deliver him now." The heart that loves God and is given to Him will wait on God*, even in the desolation of silence, because it knows that its salvation comes from God alone -- and that, even though God appear to tarry in our eyes, there is simply no profit in seeking elsewhere, for in none other shall our deliverance be found (cf. Acts 4:12). So we wait. Patiently. Expectantly. Confidently.
O God, You are my God.
I am not worthy to be called Your servant.
Yet You have chosen, in unimaginable grace, to be my God.
Have mercy upon me, I pray.
Rein in the wayward desires of my heart.
Subdue in me the childish spirit of impatience.
Silence the voice of shame that turns me away from Your face.
Open to me Your arms of grace,
that therein I may find my only true life.
May I daily surrender to you every thought and inclination;
submit to Your gracious and loving hand of deliverance;
allow You to establish my feet upon the Rock of Your sovereign and unassailable grace;
and dwell in You, our fortress, our protection,
to love and serve You all my days;
through Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen.
* Would that we might be as faithful and steadfast in this as many dogs have shown themselves to be, waiting patiently on their master's return after days, or weeks, or months -- in some cases, even years.
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As I wrote in my introduction (and as I typed them in above), these reflections are unedited, jumbled, and not particularly illuminating in themselves. I share them only in the joy that I have known in experiencing the Spirit's gracious guidance when I have willingly and patiently surrendered myself to God's Word, and in the hope that you may be persuaded to pursue the same joy. Thanks for reading.
